For the whole day i just cant stop thinking and wondering,

where exactly do i stand in ur heart ?

I was out with jojo and nick the whole day,

but my mind wasnt with them.

sorry jo for being so moody today.

i know u very seldom see me like this.

I havent had this feeling for almost 2 yrs.

missing someone so badly,

and wishing that she would call or reply.

i held on to my hp the entire day, waiting, waiting.

Even though i know chances are slim,

at least they are better than nothing.

ever since i lost one of the most memorable r/s,

i kept putting up a barrier around me,

in between i may have gone through some r/s,

but none of it i ever put in as much effort as i used to.

All of this was to ensure that im able to find my mrs perfect,

to make sure both parties are committed.

So far i have found none.

But today, should i say i fell for someone i should not ??

To me, this girl is perfect in my eyes,

shes adorable, sweet yet a bit fiesty.

and i just like everything she does or say,

i almost don question her flaws.

I have learnt after so many years to judge a person,

by their reactions, words they speak, way they act blah blah blah.

by first communication u can actually tell whats a character like.

may not be real accurate, but the idea is there.

So i go very much for a girl with character and behavior.

that determines what kinda girl i actually wanna pursue.

And i can say i have found her, but,

too bad there are always obstacles. thats life.

but i don wanna just give up.

it took me years to find this person.

its like looking for a needle in a haystack.

I may still be too young to talk about serious r/s,

but does age determine that for u ? or yourself ?

people always tell me : "aiya u still so young, should go and play"

sorry, i have been there, done that, and i don enjoy it.

whats the point of keep changing different girls ?

to feel that ur wanted ? that ur all-mighty to ur other guy friends ?

thats only on the surface, for show.

to let people think that ur popular.

but what about the passion of love ? the emotions ?

yes not many people thought about that.

and those that have, already found their special someone.

Today for the first time after so so very long,

i thought about so many things,

i felt relieved at one point, but disheartened at the other.

i felt relieved because its been so long since a girl make me feel this way.

im disheartened, because her heart still contains someone else.

i definitely can understand. it happened too sudden.

And though our feelings may be mutual,

perhaps the time is still not right for her.

she makes me wanna know so much about her.

just seeing her brings smile to my face.

she has a smile i wish i could see everyday.

and her bubbly and cheerful character brings joy,

not just to me, but to people around her as well.

I may not be the one u choose in the end,

but still i wanna thank you,

for letting me at least found someone that finally meets my eyes.

for being the one that shines before me.

for letting me recapture that feeling.

i will treasure this feeling, and keep it with me always.

And jo, ur right, one should dare to love or hate,

regardless what stands in front of u.

Im really grateful.

Thank you ~ =)