Suddenly, everything became so empty......

I have been spending too much recently, mostly on transport, food and ciggrettes. This is only the second week of the month and i've almost used up my salary. What am i doing? And im really slacking on my job, took 2 mc this month already cause of sudden illness every morning i wake up. Feel bad for my in charge and thinking why i've slacked so much? Isit because im quite tired of my job? Always doing the same thing, going the same place and nothing new. Yes im not the type of person that will stay in a job for long, i always prefer looking out for something new, trying out different experiences, is that a bad thing actually? Cause one will say u are not stable.

Dont get me wrong, i like my job, its my interest, just that i wanna do something more exciting. I wanna go back to my studies seriously. Dad already gave me half of the fees, the rest i think i'll just continue to save up. Probably by end of this month i should be able to sign up for the course. And seriously i have to STOP taking cab here and there, especially on midnight charges. Its already eaten up half of what i earned. gosh........ And there are more things to save up on. Planning a thailand trip with daniel and the rest should be on the start of August. Now there seems to be this overseas fever going on and its tempting my resistance nerves. I so wanna go on a overseas trip to enjoy and relax myself after a while of work.

I dont plan to stay in Singapore my whole life, after i have start a family, i will definitely migrate to other countries. Dont ask me why. Im sure many people wanna do that too, but to me, this is a strong ambition that i must fulfill one day. Right now, i'll just try to keep my focus on my work, studies and cutting down on my everyday expenses. Its killing me, something deep down is killing me and i cant find the source of it..........