Being alone, trying so hard to hide from falling in love, lying over and over again to myself. self consolation is the word. and i've been doing that one too many times. Sometimes just feel so eager to text you saying that 'i miss you', but holding back thinking that its pointless as it dont matter no more. We are on different paths, crossing different roads, and seeing different things in life. You once said that i would make a very good bf but im too some sort ambitious. I do admit that fact, and i really thank you for your honesty. We still are very good friends and i hope it will always stay that way.

Yes, i'll admit the fact that i do crave for someone to love sometimes, but im always looking carefully to who i end up with, because i have been careless too many times. Relationships aint a bother to me, just that i dont think im well prepared to step into one yet. If i cant support myself, how am i even gonna support the one girl that is willing to spend her life with me?

Self consolation is really a big help to me. At least it is able to soothe my anxious heart when a wave just hit pass. And doing it often can even cheer yourself up even for a little, trust me. If u keep thinking that ur sway, then u will be sway for the rest of ur life. Why not put it in better terms and say "luckily its just a minor setback"? Wont you feel better and more relieved? So take it easy and dont lose focus on things that ur really trying hard to achieve. And with the success at the end of the day, u'll be more than satisfied with your accomplishments.