the end of a friendship that i once treasured.

Back to blog. but this time, its not gonna be a happy post. for this past week, was one of the greatest disappointed and depressed moments of my life. i lost a friend, someone whom i loved and treated as my own flesh and blood. and all because of one thing : Trust.
i think there is no need to explain what happened in here. but i'll just state down what im feeling right now. i feel anger and sadness both at the same time. 6 years, it may not be very long. but these 6 years what this friend of mine have been through, will still remain as the best thing thats ever happened to me. though it may be a great loss, but perhaps, its for a good cause. i admit, i havent been the best of friends. im not someone that anyone could tolerate. everyone has their fair share of imperfection. but in my heart, u have been one of the most trusted people i have ever met. but, can the same be said for u ? i don expect u to trust me like i trusts u, but then again, i don think u trusts me at all. i was overthrown by this loss of a great friend. and i dare say that ur someone that can never be replaced.

people told me, why din i wanna salvage this friendship ? Im sure everyone knows the common term "it takes 2 hands to clap". when someone doesnt accepts u for who u are and doesnt trust u, whats the point of staying ? people can have many friends, for me, i only have 2, now just 1 left. but for u, u have alot of friends there will be there for u, that gives u what u want. so u probly wont understand how i feel now. cause i don get friendly to everyone, i don trust everyone. more than once u made me feel that even without me, its not a big deal to u and this time, u made me feel the same way again. so, without taking it seriously, i don think i had a choice. and for this past week i mourn over the loss of this great friend, hoping to see a sign, hoping to see that we can still carry on, but, i guess everyone gotta move on. i will too, probly not as fast as u. but, this is life. this feeling is like, a piece of flesh that has been cut out from my heart, its even sadder than losing a gf. but at least i know, these 6 years, will remain as the happiest moments we shared and endured. getting to know u, was a pleasure and honor.

So long, my friend. Have a great future ahead of u. maybe we will still say hi when we bump into each other on the streets. well, take care of yourself. Goodbye.

Random thoughts

Been through many ups and downs this whole week. Baby girl was so sick that her bones and body cant even move properly. Made me worried but she got better after a few days of medication. :))

issue between us, i cant say things are solved. cause obviously, point is still not taken. its ok. not my problem and i dont care anyway. one day u will learn the hard way. :))

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TERENCE SOH !

Thanks for the invite. I had a good time that night. Meet us more often lah. So many things to catch up eh. :))

Baby is going back to work after one long week of MC. Hope she will be able to cope better and learn to manage things in a more logical way. We are reaching our 4th month next week. Time passes really fast innit. Well, going for another interview tmr and hope this time it will be successful. Tmr is another day of newspapers and interviews. But better yet, im going to play lan after my interview cause its located at katong. Lol. And if possible, meeting jevonne up ?

Now my mind is clear and set on what i wanna achieve FIRST. Better not rush things this time. Prioritise whats more important. Birthday arriving in 2 months time, i know its still early, but i still don have any plans. Its my 21st, not like its important or anything but i really dunno what should i do...?

Maybe a chalet ? A simple dinner with my close ones ? Or a hotel suite ? Well, will see when the time comes. Just hope by then, things will turn out smoothly whatever the plan is. Now things are gonna get boring on weekends. Daniel has a gf now so i guess he wont be meeting me up that often, its ok, i can understand. All the best bro ! :))

Baby is busy with her work on weekdays and if my interview is successful, so will i. Less time for each other BUT, our love will keep getting stronger after everything we have been through. Baby lost a very good friend, thats really sad. But at least now she will see things more clearly and not always blur blur kana scam. Lol. Next time do or say things use think through it first ok. I will always be here to guide you. With many loves. :))

Im sorry...

Im sorry everyone. Im sorry to back out last min. I got drunk last night, but i still managed to wake up this morning. Suddenly i totally got no mood. My mood was 100% down. Its not because im tired. Just suddenly mood swing. And knowing that baby slept at 6 am last night, the more i don feel like going. Im really sorry guys. I can understand if u don wanna contact me anymore. I don have any explaination this time. Take care my friend.

Need a gym buddy

Protein shake : Checked
Fat burner : Checked
Gym buddy : Missing


I need a gym buddy. If not, no effect..... Who wants to gym with me ?? WHO WHO WHO ?????????

Gotta give back Jilia due to my allergies. )):

My face and body freaking burst out with bumps and rashes. Now i gotta go for facial and treatment. I feel sad for Jilia. Shes still a pup and yet she gotta move around so much. I really wanna keep her. But Baby girl and i thought that maybe we were too impulsive. First, we got no time to take care of her. Though there are others living in my house, but apparently no one is willing to help. Tsk. And moreover, shes still just a pup, so we gotta give her every attention possible, which i wont have time to do that. And i suck at this. Im an impatient ASS. Whenever she poops on the floor or bite the newspaper, i get flared up and spank her. :P

And whenever baby stays over at my place, we dont really have any alone time because all our attention will be on Jilia. Im sorry about her baby. I promise we will get a dog once we are stable enough alright ? ((:

Im sorry Jilia, mummy and i are gonna miss you.

I had dinner at baby's place with her family earlier. I felt so warm-hearted, i felt, so good. Its been sooooooooo long since i had a family dinner. Well, i don have a mother, and my dad...... People that are close to me knows about my r/s with my father so, ya. Just sitting at the table, having a nice home-cooked dinner and talking and laughing at the dinner table. Prolly is nothing for someone who was brought up in a normal family, but to me, i felt so loving. The last time me and my family had dinner together was 10 years old. 11 years already eh.......

Anyway, i am planning to move in with baby as soon as i turn 21. She is more than happy to welcome me and im really glad she agreed. Hope her parents agrees too. Happy to have you by my side darling. Happy happy happy with my life now. ((:

You call yourself a friend ?

Seriously, really ????
You refer to me as your best friend ? Tell me from the bottom of your heart. I was really kinda disappointed. Your birthday, and i wasnt even invited ?! If anyone thinks that im kickin a big fuss over this, i want you guys to think again, what if someone who regards YOU as their best friend din even invite you to their birthdays ? You may come up with reasons like, you lost your hp or you lost your contacts so you couldnt contact me. HELLOOOOOO..... The people that appeared at your birthday, none of them have my contact number ???? And here i THOUGHT you din celebrate your birthday AT ALL because your chalet was cancelled. Then i read someone's blog post about your birthday celebration, i was real disappointed. All along you refer me as your "best friend". Well, don say such strong words when you dont mean it. I take true friends seriously. Maybe you FORGET to text or call me, then since you can FORGET about me, don refer me as your best friend. Because from my understandings, i definitely wont FORGET to invite my best friends to my birthday celebration, be it big or small. I want my true friends to be by my side when i cut that cake or enjoy my day. When i saw those photos, even friends that are not close to you are there ! And i don even know about this ?! LOLOL !! Really thanks "FRIEND". You have SO many friends around you, so i don think you need another "friend" like me to stick around. You may think that im being over-sensitive, immature, kicking up a big fuss. You might even say "Its not even a celebration loh". But this was what i felt. Because to me, You were a great friend, i treated you like my sister, like family. When both of us needed someone to talk to, we were always there for each other. We basically know everything about each other.

And one last thing, if you don understand why i have to post all these, then you don understand me at all. So long, my "FRIEND"

First Month

First is always the best, the sweetest, most memorable moments, the happiest and of course, time travels the fastest. Though 15 is the official day, nonetheless we have been together for a month plus now. From adding you in facebook, to chatting with you on msn and talking to you on the phone. Your first kiss, those sweetest moments. We had our fair share of problems and differences. But lets put that all aside now. I have the utmost confidence that we can make things work. My only regret is that i always let my temper gets the best out of me. I always try to change you but now i realise that its those imperfections that makes you perfect.

Today is our first month, sorry i don have any surprises for you my love, how i wish im rich as hell. How i wish im the son of lee xian long. Then i can buy you all the diamonds you want. LOL. =x
But i know there are things money cant buy, you have proven to me how important i am to you. Of course i hope this feeling will last. I honestly havent felt this love for quite sometime from someone. Why you are different is because you prove yourself to me, you've showed me how much you love me. And i will do the same everyday. I really thank you, my baby, my love. I will treasure this moment forever.


I LOVE YOU